We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@brianbowman73: Them: You seem nice.
Me: Really? Try driving slowly in front of me.
@MissMcGill36: I wonder if clothes in China say "made around the corner"
@LeonEarlgrey: Necessity is the mother of invention, and the wife of bill.
Bill is the only one in the family with a normal name.
@iwearaonesie: cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
me *tries to quietly open a can of beer*
@thewritertype: If I had a bitcoin for every time someone tried to explain bitcoins to me I'd have a lot of bitcoins, and no idea what to do with them.
@djdarrellripley: Her: Did you just ask that woman out?
Her: And? What'd she say?
Me: Well, her lips said No but, her eyes said "Read My Lips."