Strange things: the prequel
2 Stranger 2 Things
Stranger Things 6: Tokyo Drift
Therapist sighs, sets down glasses, rubs the bridge of his nose. “For the last time, Christy, eating ham is not a life plan.”
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How to kiss:
1-open your mouth
5-summon the Dark Overlord
My life would be so much easier if it wasn’t for that thing…God, what is that thing called…other people.
I never know what to do with my hands during pictures,
so I get it gang members, I totally get it.
My friend Mark called me pretentious so I slapped him with my silk handkerchief.
*Working at Walmart*
Lady: Hi these Thanksgiving Turkeys are a little small. Do they get any bigger?
Me: No Ma’am, they are dead
I sent my wife a card that said, “I DON’T LIKE ANY OF THE BABIES YOU’VE MADE.”
I was just about to go and remind my neighbour to slam all of his car doors as many times as possible in five minutes, but there’s no need.
Okay Johnson, it’s time. Any last requests?
I said it’s time, any last—ah I see what you did there, Johnson. Good one
Lil Wayne is like if a doctor’s handwriting came to life.