Psychiatrist – If you’re stuck in an elevator who would you want to be stuck in there with?
Me – An elevator repairman.
There are only 2 Canadian things I don’t like:
1) Celine Dion
2) Canadian geese
Guess which one is chasing me everytime I go outside.
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4: Let’s go to back Target, we can get the Pokémon stuff
Me: But you don’t have any more money
4: That’s okay, we can use your money
Me: And what do you do if I tell you I’m having a heart attack?
Siri: I clear your browser history.
Me: That’s right darling.
Reading about Selena Gomez getting a kidney from her best friend and thinking about my friend who said he didn’t like to loan out his DVDs.
Offend your local English teacher by calling classic novels boring.
The Karate Kid would be a shorter movie if Daniel had just bought a gun.
A tiny woman at work just sneezed and it sounded like a Chipmunk being shot out of a cannon.
Let’s join our hands together and pray for my husband who very tragically compared me to my mother.
fish on cheeseburger we’ll miss you love always
You don’t have to say “I love you too,” pizza man.
But it was nice of you.