Haha yeah I’m a pretty laid back guy
AnD THAT IS WHY YOU’RE WRONG ABOUT DONKEYS MOTIVATIONS IN SHREK.. figHT ME AMANDA
There are probably fewer bees around now because a lot of them are still in prison for murdering Macaulay Culkin in My Girl
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*seductively peels off lederhosen
I just unplugged my WIFI and heard someone yell WTF from across the street!
kid: whats the meaning of life?
me: life is like a bag of Doritos, when you get to a point where you think youve had enough, you notice there isnt much left in the bag, so you just power through to the end
kid: where do babies come from?
me: babies are like a bag of Doritos…
They irony of being hit by a Dodge.
Me: [travelling in space]
[Text from Karen]: Can you bring some star fish
I don’t care what color or creed you are. Or what your religion is. Do not eat my work sandwich.
Him: I can’t sleep
Me: try counting sheep
Him: did it ever occur to you that the fact that you filled our bedroom with 27 sheep is the reason why I can’t sleep?
Me: aww you HAVE counted them *claps hands*
My boss said our teamwork at work should be as good as our teamwork at home with our spouses and all I could think was what kind of crazy marriage does he have?
Your word is “pneumonia”.
“Can you use it in a sentence?”
Of course, you can use any word in a sentence. No more hints.