@LMHPhotog

There are rumours floating around that Canada’s Prime Minister isn’t a nice guy.

They’re not Trudeau.

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@Cpin42

I hate when you’re having sex and you accidentally yell out the wrong Ninja turtle

@WheelTod

A triumphant is an especially successful elephant.

@KissabiX

[creating a sloth]

God: Take that roadkill over there and make it blink

@Jay_FrickinLynn

[During Interview]
“Do you have any questions?”
– Yeah, inTitanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?

@jamdugg

*first date*

Her: I like bad boys

Me: Could you hang on a minute?

*Returns 20 minutes later just soaked in blood*

Me: Go on…

@thenatewolf

*Creator of Charlie Brown sits down to draw a cartoon*

What do eight-year-old boys look like again? Bald? It’s bald, right?

@ClichedOut

Hot Girl: Hey, u single?

Me: I am.

HG: Cool, can I take this extra chair?

@jazmasta

Nature fact: The female cat gives birth to the body and head of her kittens separately and has to screw the head in like a lightbulb.

@Manda_like_wine

Son, your father and I have something to tell you – you were adopted. Your new parents are waiting outside in the car.