There is a conspiracy theory that Bill Gates created the Coronavirus. I’ve used the Windows system and believe me, that virus would have frozen and crashed long ago.

You Might Also Like


Got banned from helping my granddaughter write sentences with spelling words. Apparently third graders can’t write about tequila.


“911? Yes I need to report an incident”

“What is it mam?”


“Getting real tired of this crap, Alicia.”


What’s the optimum number of puppets for a job interview? I know it’s not seven


Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.


[Bruce Wayne enters Gotham Orphanage]
I’ll take your finest orphan.
“Sir, we can’t just give-”
Here’s $50mil.
“Do you like boy acrobats?”


[karate class]

Sensei: break this board with your hands

Me: why can’t I use an axe?

Sensei: because I hate you


I really want to rent a hot air balloon. Or at least a moderately attractive air balloon with a great personality.


Stop calling hurricanes names, you’re just giving them the attention that they want