Funny Tweeter

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@Bearslietoo: There is no "i" in "team," but there is a lot of "alcohol" in my "fridge" because I enjoy abusing my liver.

There is no “i” in “team,” but there is a lot of “alcohol” in my “fridge” because I enjoy abusing my liver.
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@SaltyCorpse: "I like your face" sounds less creepy in your head than it does outloud.

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@ShittyComedian: I snorted enough cocaine last night to kill a horse, but in my defense that horse came out of nowhere.

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@Brampersandon_: [Cute Girl]: *in hot tub* Hey baby. Why don't you come join me? [Lobster]: No I'm good over here. That's how my dad died.

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@Prof_BrianCocks: K1: Frankincence K2: Myrrh K3: Gold K1 & K2: WHAT? K3: Gold K1: We said £20 each! K3: I.. K1: I hate you K3: Wrap it from all of us?

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@k3llytweets: boys literally have 0 excuse for not having communication skills bc I’ve seen y’all play group video games and you describe where ur at like it’s life or death

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