@_itspat_: There's been a rash of break ins recently involving teenage boys, so I switched out all the locks in my home with bra clasps.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ibid78: [A-ha rehearsal] "Here's the lyric: Take On Me." "What about Take Me On?" [4 hrs of arguing later] "Ok we'll say both. Now let's get perms."
@AlexvanBeek: When someone tells me how old their kid is in months, I ask them to rephrase it in days, so they know what I just went through.
@david8hughes: [showing baby to friends] "Aw, he looks like his dad!" Wife [trying to hold back tears]: they say there's nothing they can do
@DeanB15: Lindsay Lohan said she's voting for Mitt b/c "employment is really important right now" Like it's Obama's fault no one wants to hire her.