@MoistPork: There's no "I" in meat, but there's "me" and "eat", and I don't know how vegans can argue with that logic.
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@wickedimproper: My wife bought us a sex swing, and at first I was like “cool”, because I thought maybe we were getting a giant parakeet.
@PretendMunchkin: Nothing like watching a 2 year old with her head stuck in her shirt collar. I'm gonna let her fight it out for a bit. Snacks anyone?
@krisv_723: My greatest hope is for my eulogy to start with "Her reign of terror is finally over."
@liv_thatsme: (My wedding day) Grandma: You remind me so much of your father Me: Wow, thanks that means a lot G: Your father was a disappointment also