True…so damn true
These Jehovah’s Witnesses are getting creative.
They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.
You Might Also Like
Refrigerators are actually sentient beings, but we keep putting magnets on them, and erasing their memories.
PRIEST: The couple has chosen to write their own vowels
HER: Shouldn’t it be –
Find someone who likes (or dislikes) the same amount of air-conditioning as you, and stick with them.
Turns out HR doesn’t care if it’s national underwear day, you have to wear pants to work.
If Leonardo da Vinci posted the Mona Lisa on Instagram today, it would get 30 likes, tops.
my ex just blocked me on twitter but i’m not gonna text him to ask him why bc i’m mature, i respect his boundaries and also he’s already blocked my number.
10: Mom what’s a metaphor?
Me: My life is a train wreck.
10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good and we will slowly kill you.