@Bob_Janke

They call me The Cat because of my hunting skills, my lightning fast reflexes, and because I run into the basement when I see the vacuum cleaner.

They call me The Cat because of my hunting skills, my lightning fast reflexes, and because I run into the basement when I see the vacuum cleaner.

- @Bob_Janke

You Might Also Like

@Book_Krazy

Dr: You’ve gained some weight

Me: You said I should take it easy

Dr: That was a yr ago & you were sick

Me: WELL I’M NOT A MIND READER

@Bad_Ass_Trucker

Me: Did you hear that?
Her: Go check it out
Me: Are You Crazy? They always kill the good looking people first
Her: You’ll be alright

@2thestreetz

If you want world peace, your army should be made up of massage therapists. I mean, who could fight while getting a relaxing massage?

@Sammy_Sega

BAD: When your date has been in the Men’s Room for 45 mins.

WORSE: When the 6 yo girl at the table next to you says “he’s not coming back”

@Tups13

When people tell me to get my act together I have to explain that this is not an act, I really am this incompetent.

@Tmoney68

Her: I’m really into eating clean.

Me: (trying to impress her) I also use many napkins.

@Maxine12333

Treat your relationships as you would your teeth, daily attention and they could last a lifetime, too bad the same can’t be said for hair.

@cravin4

No that’s not popcorn popping, it’s just the way my body sounds when I stand up.