@MustBeTheMeds

they can’t date any hot chicks #SnowmanDatingProblems

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@ObscureGent

Joseph: I swear I just heard the wind call your name
Mary: um, that was probably…god
Joseph: God sounded a lot like our neighbor Jeff

@hyperblastchic

Luke: Lightsabers cut through anything.

Ninja: So does a samurai sword.

L: But does it make a cool noise?

N: *cuts off Luke’s other hand*

@iamburtjarvis

riddler: check out aquaman’s new tweet: “on my way to destroy the legion of doom with fam”

lex luthor: you follow aquaman? LOL

others: LOL

@BromanConsul

cute girl just saw me try to walk and drink water at the same time so dating her is off the table now

@SugarMagicSpice

I thought my apocalypse outfit would be more black leather and less jammies and bunny slippers.

@xosm

Technology: the world is at your fingertips, you can accomplish anything!

Twitter: nope

@iwearaonesie

my signature move is yelling “where in the fridge?!” and “i don’t see it!” until my mom comes and finds the applesauce for me

@ArfMeasures

[My date and I both speak at the same time]
Me: Haha sorry! You go first

Date: I was just gonna say I love this wine, and the food is delicious. What were you gonna say?

Me: Should male sheep be called heep?