I see Paris, I see France, I got a great new pair of binoculars from an overpriced sporting goods store today
They ordered two extra large pizzas at work.
I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
You Might Also Like
Falling coconuts kill more people than falling sharks.
“You’ve been learning a few weeks now”
“Progress has been slow”
“Perhaps it’s time you sat up front with me?”
havent had sex in so long my clitoris is clitorwas
I held up a fist for a CW to bump and she kissed my ring. I am now drunk on power and no one is allowed to make eye contact.
*purposely chooses network with most dropped calls*
If I knew you in high school and your Facebook profile picture is a baby I’ll assume you’re Benjamin Button and unfriend you.
Me: How could you do this?
Her: I just felt like you needed to know
Me: I’ve completely lost trust
Her: I know this is hard
Me: But wrestling? Fake? I’m devastated.
Don’t ask me if I have a safety pin if you’re going to look at me all weird when I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to you.