I’ve been contemplating legally changing my name to ‘An End’, so that all good things must come to me.
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.
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~Little Mermaid family meeting~
Ariel…. We found this hidden in your top drawer.
*places sea cucumber on table*
Best senior quote ever
*watching Dateline* wow this is the worst dating show ever
Doctor: You have emphysema
Doctor: Probably from throwing smoke bombs to get out of tough situations
Batman: *throws smoke bomb*
Anytime I lift my leg higher than 3 inches I yell “KARATE!”.
Its like they say, don’t judge a apple by its color because it might be a orange.
Why do people say “To be frank…” when they’re about to be brutally honest?
WHAT IF FRANK LIED!?
WHAT IF I WANT TO BE MARLENE!?
*stranded on island*
*puts message in bottle and throws it into sea*
*years later gets message back*
Germany defeats Argentina… France surrenders.