@tropicalenvy: They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste. You have nothing to worry about.
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@: Me: The kids haven't eaten their sandwiches Wife: ok just throw them out [Later] Me *helping the kids pack a suitcase* look I'm as surprised as you are
@iwearaonesie: wife: Can we get a kids menu? waitress *brings one* wife me wife me [already doing the maze] wife: Can we get 2 kids menus?
@JohnLyonTweets: Batman: Why are you carrying a crystal ball and tarot cards? Robin: You said I could be your psychic. Batman: Sidekick. SIDEKICK. Robin: Oh, that makes much more sense.