Worst things the parents do in Home Alone:
3. Never punish Buzz
2. Forget one of their kids
1. Try to make everyone drink milk with pizza
They say all good things must come to an end…
After 7 wonderful years of marriage…
I walked in on my wife…
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What wine goes well with two ungrateful teenagers, an oppressive boss and insurmountable credit card debt?
Stickiest things in the world:
1) Children’s library books
The coronavirus is exactly like that houseguest who won’t take the hint to leave but who also won’t stop killing people.
But seriously- how do Superheroes even go to the bathroom?
I mean, look at their costumes.
She said she wanted to bump uglies. So, naturally, I got all showered & freshened up and then I rammed my Ford Pinto into her Honda Element.
If I had two bathrooms I’d tell everyone someone died in one, I ain’t tryna clean two bathrooms
Hello OnStar? Yes I have an emergency. My wife thinks Pikachu is better than Squirtle. I left her at a gas station. Can you go get her?
Before you make fun of older folks, just remember we know where ALL the bathrooms are
Not saying obamacare is perfect but the data doesn’t lie. With Obamacare there’ve been zero Hitlers. Before obamacare there was at least one