@TheBoydP: They say don’t eat when you’re bored but I never get bored of eating so I think I’m good.
@PleaseBeGneiss: [walking out of restaurant]
DATE: let’s do this again
ME: thank god I’m starving
@SaveItForFest: You know the best side effect of losing weight? Supersonic hearing. I can hear the crinkle of a candy wrapper or bag of chips through walls.
@iYoungKhalifa: 1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2...!!
@Bnowaygirl: I think Titanic is fake because, how do they record it when they are all dieing in the water?
@HaleyCurrie: thanks auntie mary