@tsm560: They say intelligent people are rarely happy I guess that’s why you’re always smiling
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@TimJohnish: I hate it when you tell someone a lie to sound interesting and then you have to keep it up for several years because you married them.
@MelvinofYork: My kid told me an “old dead girl” lives in her room and whispers to her at night. I hope they get along cuz I’m never going in there again.
@Home_Halfway: LAWYER: Your Uncle Paul Watt passed away ME: Wow I didn't know him L: He bequeathed his mine to you ME: Wait a minute L: Watts mine is yours