@joeljeffrey: They say it takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something. Please. You wanna know expertise? I've spent over 300,000 hrs being a moron
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@sixfootcandy: Therapist: Maybe you could try to be a little less hostile. Me: Maybe you could stick a butter knife in a light socket.
@chrisdowning: Instructions for frozen chicken pot pie: 1. Preheat oven to 400 2. Cook on baking sheet for 16 days 3. Let stand 5 minutes before serving