@imVig: Thief: Did u see me rob this bank?nTeller: well, yes!nn*Teller shot in the head*nThief: DID U SEE ME ROB THIS BANK?nMe: No. But my wife did!
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@TheHyyyype: jane austen: *experiences pride and prejudice* hmm i think i'll write a book about this j.d. salinger: *catches some rye* yeah same
@tonyhawk: girl at restaurant: "Are you Tony Hawk?" me: "Yes." her: "Why?" I had no idea how to answer.
@emdoyl: 2011: The world’s gonna end next year...like probably....bc of something w the Mayans People: *freaking out* 2019: There is SCIENTIFIC PROOF that Global Warming is rapidly destroying life as we know it, and we need change, fast. People: lol ok