Me: What’s the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I’ll have a coke.
Barman: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Me: There you go. So what’s the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.
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“Eat right and exercise?!?…
I dunno…seems like some kind of a scam, Doc.”
*Things that won’t get done today.
Me: There’s plenty more fish in the sea
Fisheries Guy: Actually the fish population is dwindling at an alarming rate
Me: You’re not helping
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“Sir, this is a library.”
*whispers* “What aisle has the milk?”
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Hell hath no fury like an old lady scolding you for going in the wrong direction down a one-way aisle at the grocery store.