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@noneofyours99: Things I hate
@kathypifer1: Me: Do you have any books on paranoia?
Librarian : They're right behind you.
@itshotterhere: Never trust someone who says you're more important than cheese. It's an obvious lie.
@dankmccoy: Insane Clown Posse is really giving a bad name to all the rational clown posses out there.
@jackiemonahan: Dear Jesus- please let all my texts go to the correct person- Amen
@MartaEffing: [first date]
*sees he owns a cat*
Him: Are you a cat or a dog person?
*maintains eye contact*
*pushes cat off the table*