@shutupmikeginn: Things were going well with my date, until she noticed my Roomba was a Frisbee glued to a bunch of rats
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@Rollmaninoz: Gremlins(1984): a shopkeeper with a creature so powerful it could destroy all human life gives it to a 12yo boy. Many lives are lost.(PG13)
@esbeeback: Now I have 2 accounts a friend suggested I retweet myself when I'm bored. Sounds like my sex life at the moment
@robin_991: I just accidentally read “Federal” as “Feral” and it made zero difference to the article.
@FilthyRichmond: Pregnant women go through a "nesting" phase where they make a tree fort out of twigs and parts of men they've killed.