@50FirstTates

think about this. if u put a banana down u have to put it on its side. but if u slice it and put those slices flat they r actually standing up. this is why i don’t trust bananas. they r never as they seem

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It’s actually illegal to see your neighbour washing his car and not say ‘You can do mine next if you want!’.

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Passenger: Do you mind if I take a picture out the window?

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Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It’s like having a remote to open the fridge.

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Before you tell me anything about your kid you should know I’m going to mentally leave my body.

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