@ieatanddrink: Think I nailed my job interview today because I wore a graduation cap to make it look like I graduated high school
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@mommajessiec: 6yo: I like my hair short and long. I want my hair to be short and long at the same time. Me: *shows her a picture of a mullet* 6yo: Oh no.
@Dwarven_Cleric: People who peel the entire banana before eating it are the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.