@ieatanddrink: Think I nailed my job interview today because I wore a graduation cap to make it look like I graduated high school
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@arcadeseals: son: brent from school is bullying me me: ask your teacher for help [school] son: miss roberts, will you help me beat up brent
@maisonshouting: KOHL'S: YOU SAVED $92 based on these arbitrarily high prices we made up! ME: I am honestly just so blessed
@dadsrpeopletoo: Adobe is like that idiot guy who won’t take the hint and leave a woman alone at a bar. Come on beautiful, just one update? How about now? Okay gorgeous, I’ll try to get that update again in 3 minutes.
@Cheeseboy22: Wonder Woman 2: Wonder Woman goes to Costco. She pulls apart 2 shopping carts that are stuck together. Costco shoppers amazed. Roll credits.