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This day in history. 2004. Ken announced that he had broken things off with Barbie but not to avoid another outrageously extravagant Valentine’s Day no not at all.
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American Ninja Warrior is a bunch of people who took “the floor is lava” game way to seriously as kids.
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BARISTA: Would you like to try our new special Peruvian blend? It’s sm-
ME: I’m just trying to stay awake and not punch anyone.
What I said: Please help clean up after dinner.
What my 6yo heard: Commence pirouetting.
How fast “Little pig, little pig, let me in”
turns in to “Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin”
[someone reading a beautiful poem in german]
ME: i have never been more frightened