@welivinasociety

this halloween i’m going as someone asking how the writing’s coming along

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@JulieSnark

I just switched my doorbell to the sound of a shot gun loading.

@SvnSxty

Splinter: ok I’ve made some coloured disguises for you all

Donatello: to protect our identities?

Splinter: exactly Raphael

Michaelangelo: lol he’s not Raphael

Splinter: sorry you’re right Leonardo

Raphael: master, that’s not-

Splinter: just put them on please

@ClichedOut

me: my friend died in her sleep 🙁

my grandpa: back in my day we walked uphill 10 miles before we died

@AngelaEhh

Why are people giving something up for lint? I’m sweeping that shit up every day if you want some more.

@mrtruthandsoul

Darth Vader: Join me on the Dark Side, Luke!
Luke: I’ll never join you!
Vader: We have flex hours and Pizza Fridays!
Luke: NOOOOOO!!!