@bengelinas

This hospital has everything

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@Dadsaysjokes

I begin to read a horror novel in Braille.

Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.

@EastonEnyart

2 things I hate;
1)Hypocrites
2)and people who don’t finish anyth

@panTdropper

“You are what you eat”?
I don’t remember eating a giant disappointment.

@Birdhumms

I dont mean to brag but my sense of humour has people saying they worry about me sometimes.

@traciebreaux

The first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is stupid.

@CroweJam

I wear a cape when I’m driving so if I get pulled over the cop will think I’m going somewhere to fight crime.

@AKcrazy18

When a Nokia phone warns you about low battery, you have at least 1 month to find where the charger is lying in your house.

@Sal0630

My girl must be planning a big April fools joke or something. She’s been agreeing w/ me all morning. Either that or she got mad cow disease.

@BMcCarthy32

There’s no way I’m the only person who thinks Kristen Stewart is doing the world’s best Garfield impression.