I sometimes feel like the Angel on my shoulder is on vacation & the Devil invited his cousin over for a play date
You Might Also Like
When I was a kid: why do athletes retire in their 30s they’re still so young
Me in my 30s now: *trying to get up from a couch* yep ok
santa: make me a hundred thousand PlayStations
elf: *holding only a hammer* how
*looking under hood of car*
“Well there’s your problem”
*removes cardboard box with engine drawn on it*
Gift horse “My gums are bleeding.”
Dentist “Well this is a professional dilemma…”
[Satan advising me on choosing the right career path] law school it is
“The best things in life are free.” ~ shoplifters.
Mom: Why do you do that?
Me: Silly, huh?
Mom: No, reckless! Do you even know what you said? What if you told him he’s fat
I just sneezed and made direct eye contact with my dog and we somehow didn’t switch bodies wtf disney??
Them: Are you a frontend or backend developer?
Me: *winking* I’m pretty developed in both places.
Anyways, that’s how I ended up in HR.