@Cryptic1iam

This is an ugly term. This “Stalker”. I prefer unpaid investigator.

You Might Also Like

@RealCarlHardt

Reminder to any new followers…Ancestry.com is NOT a dating site…lesson learned…like 4 times.

@Westoff123

Waking on campus and some girl said, “I like you a lot.” And I turned around and said thank you and realized she talking to the guy with her

@Browtweaten

professor: you, explain the philosophy of predeterminism

me: I guess I don’t have a choice

professor: great job

me: what

@patnspankme

I started an argument in a Yahoo! chat room back in 1999 that is still going on.

@JimmerThatisAll

“I miss my label mates.”

“You’re a recording artist?”

“We collect beer labels let me show you my albums.”

@CrockettForReal

Just overheard the phrase, “pregnant with a baby,” and secretly wondered what the other options were

@tastefactory

[in front of fire]
DATE: I’m still kinda cold *she looks at my jacket*
ME: Oh! Yeah *I take off jacket & throw it in fire* That oughta do it

@JessObsess

[drunk text] God I miss you so much. Why can’t we go back to how things were?

OBAMA: How did you get this number?