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@bakedbrotatoes: -This is my son Michelangelo.
-Oh, like the artist.
-Um no like the Ninja Turtle.
@PaperWash: Our Ideal candidate:
-Minimum 3,000 years exp.
-Must have 8 PhD's
80 hrs a week
$7.15 an hour
Must be passionate about work!
@heyevergreen: if you wear a bikini top instead of a bra you can go out with wet hair & people will think you just went swimming which is athletic not lazy
@onelongbender: When people tell me I'm intimidating, I generally just glare at them until they take it back.
@Sarcasticsapien: Even though my dad is a Trump supporter I let him borrow my car because I'm a good person. I mean, I'm going to report it stolen, but still.
@internetluke: [on date]
Here, let me help you with your jacket!
*i gently remove her jacket*
This is mine now. Cya