@ToneLoaf

This Male Order Bride is the worst and most expensive typo I’ve ever paid for.

You Might Also Like

@KeetPotato

[tv commercial]
me: “know what i’d love for breakfast?”
mum: “what’s that son?”
me: “if someone pre-chewed my food”
narrator: “porridge”

@mrtruthandsoul

How many minutes after someone’s fired is it cool to take their stapler?

@lmegordon

My super power is buying movies on Amazon the week before they’re free on Netflix

@Eightinchgoat

My son asked me what language they speak in England. This would have been cute if he wasn’t 20 … And in college.

@UnFitz

I used humor as a defense mechanism.

Also bear traps.

You can’t be too careful.

@tsm560

Her: About last night, please understand that wasn’t me… that was the wine.
Me: …
Her: …
Me: Do you have a phone number for that wine?

@Social_Mime

My wife and I have a rule whoever is driving controls the radio, unless I’m driving and then she controls the radio.