@ChrisHallbeck: This package of bacon says it's "naturally hardwood smoked" as if they just happened across a bunch of pigs next to a forest fire.
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@eTHEgoddess: The glittery vampire from Twilight is putting out an album. In other news, real musicians continue to play for coins in the subway.
@froghammer: Obamacare? More like "Obama? I don't care for that guy!!!" Honk if you want poor people to die
@sophielou: If your name is Otis you are either an adorable dog or the town drunk there is no in between
@serialmatrix: If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?