@ChrisHallbeck: This package of bacon says it's "naturally hardwood smoked" as if they just happened across a bunch of pigs next to a forest fire.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheMichaelRock: A coworker wouldn't stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes.
@MatCro: [4 strangers are smearing their bodily fluids on each other] [one turns to camera] "There has to be a better way." VOICEOVER: "Hot tubs."
@DionneMcNutt: Using Romeo & Juliet to express how inlove you are is like using Hamlet to show how close and well adjusted your family life is.
@McGrumpenstein: my kid thought that we eat kidneys and liver from humans what scares me is that she didn’t care