@beingtheo: This Petraeus scandal is getting real confusing. I hope I didn't sleep with him.
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@david8hughes: Wife: don't forget to pick the kids up from school Me: it's Saturday, they're both upstairs Wife: it's Wednesday & we have 3 kids
@jordan_stratton: Oh, man. My grandma caught me texting my OTHER grandma and now things are super tense.
@angibangie: [both kids on my lap] Me:This is so nice 5yo:Mommy your breath stinks. M: I carried you for 9 months! 4yo:Why didn't you use a stroller?