@AngelaEhh: This running bra is the best thing invented, they didn't say I'd have to transform into gumby to get the damn thing off though.
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@Ophelia_808: [stunned, eyes lock, a smile exchanged, and I knew it was kismet] *hands cash to lady Ma'am my baby isn't for sale. I SAID I'LL TAKE TWO!!
@EveInFlow: I watched a horror movie last night and it was scary, but not “some of you are raising children” scary.
@krisv_723: You don't care when my dog does it, is not an acceptable explanation for shitting on your neighbor's lawn. I know this now.
@AmericanGent69: Saw a store that has a sign that reads, "We treat you like family!" Yup, NOT going in there.