Just installed the iOS 9 update and I’ve already noticed a significant increase in my phone’s battery life! This is aweso
This summer, camp counselors all over the country will shine flashlights under their chins and read the headlines.
You Might Also Like
Fish don’t seem that stupid to me. If a burrito dropped out of the sky and hung in mid air I’d prob eat it.
Bruce Willis angrily returns a cheese grater to the store, “IT DID NOT MAKE THE CHEESE GREATER! IT JUST MADE LOTS OF LITTLE CHEESE” he fumes
Before I proposed to my GF I asked her father but he was already married.
“Remember those funny tweets about Keith? And, the Chad jokes? Haha! They were great! We should do those again. Right, guys? Guys?”
*First day as a fire investigator*
Me: We’re trying to figure out why your house burned down
Woman: Have you ruled out arson?
Me: *narrows eyes, looks at baby* No
SIRI: Turn left in 100 feet
ME: [drives past turn]
SIRI: [exhales loudly in exasperation]
It’s important to set goals. You don’t have to accomplish them or anything like that. Just set them.
I swear I’m about to be productive. Any minute now…
Putting a bell around a cow’s neck to circumvent its stealthiness is just wrong. I say let them hunt.