I just referred to tongs as ‘food tweezers’ in case you want to be in awe of my command of the English language.
this toddler on the bus said “the wheels on the bus go round & round” & this guy yelled back “no shit Sherlock” & I can’t stop clapping?
You Might Also Like
who is Godzilla’s least favorite relative? his MOTHRA-IN-LAW
My blood type is B positive. The irony isn’t lost on me.
I’ve never watched CSI because I learned everything I need to know about solving crimes from watching Scooby Doo.
Siri, where did I go wrong?
Siri: How long you got?
What wine pairs best with concession stand popcorn? Asking for the thermos I’m taking to this high school football game.
oh you like history? name everything that’s happened
“Better safe than sorry,” I say, as I key my phone number into the side of his car
Avoid the struggle of taking off a sports bra by never exercising.