It was suggested I gargle salt water to ease gum pain. Found potato chips works just as well. Salt is salt
This tube of suntan lotion has been in my family for three generations
You Might Also Like
Marriage tip: If your wife says “I didn’t do it” what she means is “You did it”. Accept it and don’t worry that you don’t remember doing it.
Wife: “You want to come upstairs?”
Me: “Hell yes!”
Wife: “I was talking to the dog.”
EMINEM: his palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
WEB MD: cancer
Just congratulated my ex on dating someone so young that her Throwback Thursday photos are just pictures of her pregnant mom. I’m a dream.
I don’t have Facebook I use the police to tell my friends and family when I’m doing badly
Don’t worry little groundhog, when I stick my head outside and see what’s going on in the world today I run back inside and hide too.
I accidently opened the fitness app and my phone immediately called to report itself stolen.
I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating the entire box of donuts.
Cashier: Bag or plastic sir
(scoops up forty items under my shirt and walks out)