I’m no scientist, but if that ebola virus is communicable, that means WE CAN TALK TO IT.
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I have many hidden talents. Just wish I could find ’em.
Wait, wait, wait. Don’t I get three wishes?
Cop: Ma’am, that’s not how this works.
Hey babe, you look hungry. I have a meal for you in my shorts.
*whips out five course meal from my cargo shorts with still frozen dippin dots for dessert*
“We’ve removed your son’s missing picture from our milk cartons.”
“You found him?”
“No, people stopped buying milk.”
[watching Game of Thrones] last week was great, I paid attention to everything!
TV: last week on GoT..
Me: when the hell did that happen?!
“Do as many squats as you feel like, I don’t want to get involved.”
– impersonal trainer
Jurassic Park (1993): An old man with ungodly amounts of money doesn’t have any common sense.
I can’t remember if Moses was DC or Marvel