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@PhilJamesson: three things we don't talk about
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Pretty metal of Betty White to trend every time someone else dies.
@simoncholland: Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
@SJSchauer: Don’t compare yourself to other people but if you must, compare yourself to someone objectively worse.
@mtobey: "Anybody here named Jeff?"
@PaperWash: "I bought a new car!"
Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?
Dude it's literally a piece of fruit