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@Reverend_Scott: [throws milk at cows]
go be with your family
@glenc217: If I ever owned a funeral home, I would name it "Remains To Be Seen".
@internetluke: [raises hand in English class]
Why do we need to be learned English?
"Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"
@PaperWash: me: sorry, I move around a lot in bed
GF: it’s ok lol
[middle of the night]
me: [taps GF on the shoulder] I just bought a house in Montana
@Darlainky: Me: I’ve gone my whole life without having any hearing problems.
Middle age: Hold my beer.
@Jandalize: I always carry a condom.
I never know when things are going to get hot & heavy & I'll have to throw a sturdy water balloon at someone.