@OneTrickTofani: Tiger Woods: cool name, scary place
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@: A student emailed me, profusely apologizing for getting my name wrong at the top of their paper, and I was like, “Thanks, whatever, nbd.” Then I got to their paper and saw their instructor was “Professor whats his nuts”
@mustachewine: I laugh like a dumbass every time I hear the term 'manhole'. Maturity will not be reached.
@Ginlicker: Cops would catch more drunk drivers if they just stood outside with signs that say HONK IF YOU'RE WASTED!