@ch000ch: [time traveler returns home to 1881] guys i forgot to grab the cure for malaria but here's some...DORITOS LOCOS TACOS [loud cheering]
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@FuckabillyRex: I bet all those girls that ignored me in high school would still be pretty pleased with that decision.
@BuckyIsotope: WIFE: how’s dinner ME: these mashed potatoes are dank WIFE: is that bad or good ME: … WIFE: … ME: I don’t know
@AimeeHelene1: *yawns, while roaring like a dinosaur* *everyone in the church looks at me* *waves with T-rex arms*
@Alex_N_Chains: I think it's fair to question whether or not Barack Obama is an American. I mean, look at him. He's awfully thin...