(Teen Jesus Season Finale)
*TJ gracefully ascends into clouds*
*everyone is in tears*
*Mary M gets a txt*
TJ (txt): high af rn
To those out there who have accused me of selling out, of abandoning my beliefs and values to climb the social ladder: uh… yeah. yes.
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Her: What did you mean when you said, “rub it for good luck”?
Rabbit (nervously): …I was talking about my foot
Waiter: would you like a little quiche before your main sir?
Me: ok, but no tongue
Wind chimes. Something I’ve never purchased.
Can’t see myself saying, its too quiet, you know what’d be nice? Noise.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
You call it premature ejaculation, I call it being 15 minutes early.
How do I know I’m Canadian?
An AI pedestrian in Grand Theft Auto just sneezed and I said “Bless You” outloud for nobody to hear.
Jesus, don’t take the wheel. Give me your keys. Sober up.
*hands cup of water*
DON’T TURN THAT INTO WINE AGAIN
getting animal crossing for my mom is the best thing i’ve ever done
It’s amazing what happens when you take a little time to get to know someone.
They become even more annoying.