“Describe yourself in 4 words.”
Bad at counting.
Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it.
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Never had my own stalker before. Kinda exciting, kinda scary. 2½ stars – might recommend.*
*mostly dependent on them not killing me horribly before I can
-What should we name this creature w/ big feet?
-And this w/ saber teeth?
-And this beaverduck?
“I wish I had more time to read” he said as Netflix automatically played the next episode.
I just had a moment of clarity. Glad that’s over with.
“Farm to fork”, but it’s just me taking you to a corn maze to bang.
me: i have an imaginary gf
therapist: u can do better than that
me: i know, it’s just–
therapist: i was talking to her
1st date: I love the spiderman movies
Me: So do I
[thinking of something to say to impress her]
Me: I used to be a spider
If taking off your pants doesn’t solve your problems, get different problems.
*driving through the beautiful country side*
There really are endless options when it comes to dumping a corpse.