@delusionaliam

Today, I saw that my ironing board cover was wrinkled. I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because irony has the word iron in it.

You Might Also Like

@goldengateblond

College graduates look awfully happy for people who’ll never have an entire summer off again.

@fillthevacuum

Oh, those stick figures on your car aren’t for the bike riders you hit?

*removes 14 stick figures from car*

@Awk0Tacoo

Every chick magazine ever:
You’re beautiful and are perfect just the way you are!

How to loose ten pounds in ten days you fat, ugly cow.

@VisionBored1

My kid asked why we eat so much bacon so I told him it’s a vegetable

@squirrel74wkgn

Magician: Abracadabra!

[cloud of smoke as woman volunteer disappears]

Husband (stands up): YES! …I mean, noooo. *quietly sits down*

@JeffMyspace

Today’s spelling lesson:
On the lam: escaping from police

On the lamb: escaping from life’s woes with a delightful sheep ride