@Chhapiness

Today we pretended we were dining out and it felt so real because right after the first bite my kids decided to go potty

You Might Also Like

@thedadonline

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

@Gupton68

I understand division over pineapple on pizza, or whether it’s pronounced gif or gif, I’ve even taken sides myself, but people fighting over the spelling of woah or whoa take a step back now before this madness destroys us all*

*It’s whoa, by the way

@WickedCynic

If the guy behind me stands any closer I’m going to go in for a hug.

@J0hnnyBlaze

When people with bible quotes in their bio follow me…I don’t know man. I think you’re gonna have a bad time

@RickAaron

Currently binge watching old eclipses to get caught up for tomorrow.

@Social_Mime

me:
Can I count on you?

wife:
Of course, always.

(sits on her lap)

me:
One…two…three…four…

@SkinnieTalls

It rubs the lotion on its skin and struggles with the doorknobs again.