@botandy: Today's fortune cookie reads: 'you are the only human in this restaurant don't look up'
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@Beccnicole: Honestly babies are so lazy like hold up your own head Charles, you have literally nothing else to do.
@Maxine12333: Taught my kids to always let a strange dog smell their hand before petting them to see if it was friendly. Should have taught them to do the same with people.
@AngelaEhh: Dear Milk of Magnesia manufacturers: Please add : 'Don't trust a fart' to your side effects label. kthanksbye