@FU_TangClan: Tom Cruise is short for tomato filled cruise ship
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@slooberbie: One of my wishes in life is to run across the Pacific Ocean in an air tight giant hamster ball.
@OkieGirl405: 95% of your time as a parent is spent trying to figure out who broke it, who stole it and who ate it
@iamspacegirl: Me: oh hi! Did you come over because I'm sad? How do you always know when I need you? Cat: get me my damn jingle mouse. Me: I love you too
@ArfMeasures: [Bank] ROBBER: Look, as long as everyone is cool, no-one will die *I walk in* ROBBER [picks up gun] well, guess what, everyone