Fax? Why don’t you just send it over on a dinosaur?
Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.
You Might Also Like
Imagine falling in love with someone and then discovering that he has faith in humanity.
People who use a vacation day the day after Christmas to have relatives over clearly don’t understand the meaning of the word vacation.
HER: Shake what your momma gave you!
ME: *Tosses around crippling anxiety and male pattern baldness*
I hate when I toss some cold pizza in the microwave, check Twitter real quick and when I come back I’ve missed 3 mortgage payments.
Artist: I love painting you. Times are tough.
Model: Are you a starving artist?
Artist: Kinda. *continues brushing butter on model*
If you’re American & I ever hear you use the word “whilst,” this I swear: you will not live to see the 3rd season of Sherlock.
Who’s the idiot who named the song ‘The Sound of Silence’ and not
My toddler went down the slide and her performance was amazing flawless really, so I put my hand out for a high five and she ignored me in front of like 10 people and I don’t know how to handle that. It’s been 3 days.