@fakegoldegg: toothpaste is a big scam. if ur tooth falls out, it stays out. toothpaste Will Not paste it back in.
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@WittySassBasket: Cop: raise your hands Me: ok, but if you looked down you'd see the same thing C: ma'am? M: they're right there C: how high are you? M: yes
@OkieGirl405: This is a fake tweet, someone asked me to put their # in my phone so I'm pretending to add it to my contacts
@trentistweeting: [interview] My biggest weakness is that I'm too literal "That's fine. Your resume looks good, welcome aboard!" *turns to whiteboard* welcome
@PinkCamoTO: *pulls up pants* Oh, you said ANNUAL review. Well, this is embarrassing. But just for reference, how'd I do?